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18 Years Ago I Prepared to Say Goodbye to My Son

Love Yourself Love Your Health Naturally
Jan 27, 2016
3 min read

January 27th, 1998 was a miracle for me. My second son was 4 months old and the doctors told us to prepare for his funeral. Jared was born with a rare heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He had one open heart surgery at four months age and then he was listed for a heart transplant. It was a grueling four months. Most parents are celebrating their child's new arrival and I was busy getting the Christmas tree early so my two boys could enjoy it together afraid Jared was going to die. I had no idea how I was going to tell Thomas his younger brother Jared, may die. Thomas knew without words and he was the older brother running around telling the visitors to wash their hands. In fact subconciously, when Jared would throw up 10 to 13 times a day Thomas would run and get a wash cloth saying "Its ok baby Jared."

I still hear those those words in Thom's little 4 year old voice. When we got the call for a heart we rushed to the ER and Jared was bombarded by doctors as I laid him on the steel table and walked away from my child. Hours later waiting for some word that my son was alive I was finally allowed to go in and see him. Then his heart stopped and he was lifeless for a few moments. He returned to me and I thank God for letting me know my son. I thank God for Thomas to have a brother. Their endless hours of playing Star Wars toys and telling stories from their bunk beds I will never forget.

As Jared grew he taught me not to worry about the future but concentrate on the now! He always said "Mom don't worry!" That rang more true to my soul than ever in 2014 when Jared was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and again the doctors told us Jared would die.

I watched Jared grow very sick, I yelled at God for putting us through this again! Jared again.. told me not to worry that he had this. He walked away from conventional cancer treatment and told me he wanted to do it his way. He sure has and as we approach 18 years that he has had his heart, many of you in the medical field know many pediatric heart transplants do not last this long and they need another heart.... Jared continues to defeat what the text books say. Isn't it amazing? Don't go by just what the text books say my friends, go with your heart, your soul and listen! Live life and be thankful for every single day. Do not wait for tomorrow, it may never come.

I am so blessed to have witnessed my son walk and talk and to see him and his brother become friends. We have crossed so many milestones and with each step I will tell you the hurt is still there. I still remember laying Jared on the table and kissing him and smelling the plastic tubing attached to his face. I still remember me fighting to stay up all night so I could feed him a few ounces and he wouldn't have a feeding tube. I still remember bringing him home and he was pink not blue anymore. I still remember the boys celebrating annual brothers day every June. I picked that month, don't know why but I know I wanted them to celebrate their brotherhood.

At age 16 Jared as a sophmore, I was in shock to deal with losing him again. I was reminded we are all on borrowed time are we not? My mind raced of our memories and as Jared suffered in the hospital I asked God not to let Jared die this way. Jared again defeated the odds as an organ recipient and now defeated stage 4 cancer.

So now time to celebrate!

When the kids were little we use to do a family trip on this day but the kids are grown now and Jared and I will be headed to Phoenix to a few of his favorite places to celebrate 18 years ago Jared was given a gift of a heart. We always thank our donor family and pray they have a little peace through Jared. Want to read our full story? https://www.lulu.com/shop/view-cart.ep